Just Keep Swimming

Sometimes, a mom just needs her mom. Having 2 toddlers close in age is a lot more work then I thought. Today was my breaking point. I was so snappy with the kids and my tone was so aggressive. I've been taking my frustration out on them and I'm not handling my emotions well because I am trying to balance a lot right now. I am a very extraverted and social person so it is very hard for me to be home all day, everyday with 2 toddlers that want nothing more then to just be out of the house. I texted my mom and within 1 minute she called me and just let me get it all out. I didn't realize how much I needed that. She said one thing that really stuck out to me and really got me thinking. She said, "The kids will only mimic the type of behavior that they see from you. They are watching you and you have to model what you want them to do. If they see that you deal with frustration by reacting that way, then they will react that way." I've heard that SO MANY times but it never clicked until now. I have been able to respond well to the kids for the most part for the past 2 years. However, the past 2 years they were babies. They couldn't really understand enough for you to get mad at them for not listening or making bad choices. Joshua is just over 2 and a half years and he knows right from wrong. He makes a bad choice then Annabelle follows and I get even more upset. My mom had to remind me towards the end of our conversation, "Just keep swimming."

I need to take one day at a time and give my kids ALL of my affection, attention and energy right now at this age. They are sponges and they are relying on me to pave the way for them. They rely on me to know how to respond to emotions. They use to rely on me to feed them and tell them when to sleep and what to eat. That was so much easier! Now, is where a lot of the hard work comes. Now they are relying on my for much more then sleeping and eating. They are learning how to interact, how to treat each other and treat people and so much more. Everyday is an opportunity to teach them and to help them grow. I can't just do chores anymore around the house while they roll around on the baby mat.

I am having to switch up my mentality and having to plan my days much differently now. It's not about my to do list anymore. It's about the kids and what they need emotionally, physically and spiritually. My priority is to give them what they need and work on my to do list when I can. They are at a good age that they can be "helpful" and they love to clean so I can always include them on my cleaning days. This is going to be a lot of work but I know it will be worth it one day when I see them teaching their kids what I am teaching them. I feel so encouraged and motivated to be my very best for my family. Being a stay at home mom full time with 2 kids exhaust's every part of you. But, you have to just keep swimming.