Restless

These past few days I have been anxiously waiting to go into labor. My due date is not until May 13th, but the doctors and I are convinced Annabelle will be here early since Joshua was 4 days early. I have not been able to relax and rest. I have been trying to keep myself busy with cleaning, running errands and staying up as late as I can to avoid sleeping and resting. During the day I have a lot of energy and I think its the adrenaline knowing that I can go into labor at any moment.

They say every pregnancy is different so I don't want to expect the start of my labor will be the same as it was with Joshua. I know what signs to look for and what a contraction feels like. So, when it happens, I will know that I am in fact in labor. I am so afraid of it happening while everyone is at work and I am home alone with Joshua. I am expected to have a pretty quick labor and I want to make sure I have time for everyone to come home from work to take care of Joshua and to get to the hospital. I know it will all work out, there is just so much unknown that makes me feel so restless.

In the midst of expecting Annabelle any day now, Joshua is getting his bottom molars in!!! One just broke through about 3 nights ago and now the other one is starting to come in. He has been drooling like crazy and has got the whole runny nose, mucus cough thing going on and just not feeling like his normal self. He is still a super happy and energetic toddler, you would never guess he was in pain. However, you can definitely tell when he's not feeling the greatest. His schedule is all thrown off and so is his appetite. Some mornings he wakes up at 5:30 insisting that he wants to get up and eat breakfast and play and some mornings he sleeps in until close to 9 after a 5am diaper change and some water. He has been waking up 3-4 times throughout the night and going to bed late (he has been having a hard time falling asleep). It's been tiring to say the least. These past few nights I have been waking up with him most of the time so that Patrick can sleep since he has to work. At this point I don't sleep very solid because I am waking up every hour to pee, so its not as difficult for me to wake up with Joshua.

Every night I wonder if this is the night.. will this be our last night of being a family of 3? Every morning I wonder if this is the last time I wake up to just 1 kid... my mind is constantly running. I am trying to just focus on trusting God's perfect timing and that she will come when she is ready. I feel so restless. I can't sleep or just sit around because then I start to obsess over when will I go into labor. Although I can't rest and relax much, I still feel really good. I am excited to be a mom of 2 and to give Joshua a built in best friend. I am excited to not be pregnant anymore and to have our family complete just the way we imagined it when we first got married! :)